Sunday, November 23, 2008 3:49 PM
Yes! I'm very much disturbed. Dsiturbed by your actions and my own thoughts and feelings. I have no idea why I let myself be in this difficult situation. I've been trying very hard to forget you but there will always be things that remind me of you. Your smell, your smile, the way you talk and do things and lots more. Thinking about you every time makes it harder for me to be myself and act normally. Babe, letting you in my life is a lesson learnt. I'm sorry. I can't bring myself to forgive you. Not just yet. It's hard. I should have known that when you try to get close to me you were just using me. Well at least that is what I felt. And I should have known that when you had two jobs when you actually don't have to tire yourself, you were trying to get your mind busy so you won't think of her anymore. But it was to no avail because until now, I dare say you still love her. Yes I can understand it is hard to forget someone you give your heart to but when you were with me, you said you love me. Were those words just to make me feel happy being with you or do you really mean it? From what I see, I guess it was words and there's no meaning to it. I have no idea how you felt when you held my hands. I would love to know what you felt when we spent those good old time together, those days where we will talk on the phone for hours and just end the phonecall with I love you. You know at times I really wonder why I even bother thinking about you!
I'm angry. No! Not at you but myself because I get myself into this deep shite and I have no strength to clear all this mess by myself. I need time to forget you and I'm tired. No. I'm exhausted. Exhausted much that I don't see the reason why I'm typing all this. You won't be able to read this anyway. Like I said in one of my post before, One shouldn't live in misery. So I guess, you will be my past. If we are meant to be, then we are meant to be. I don't mind being friends with you but I know it won't be the same anymore. Even that, I'll still love you. Like how I always do.
'ANNISA outz!!!
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